A Sunbeam to Warm you, A Moonbeam to Charm You, A Sheltering Angel, That Nothing May Harm You

Monday, July 23, 2012

I miss you

I miss you blog! I was reading back to when Lily had no hair and Johnny had tons and I was missing how well I kept up with my family here and leaving these memories for my children to see. I became bogged down and depressed last year, it is strange that now I know what "busy" and "stressed" really mean, and last year was like a vacation compared to it. However I feel much better now, so many things have chnaged and i thrive in the rush. I am here to admit that I suffer from clinical depression, and have for a long time. I accepted that I could not go through life hating myself, crying for no reason, and ignoring joy of any kind. I accepted that medication helps and that every single day is a struggle to push past the depression and find motivation and energy to even do the things I enjoy or take care of my children. God has entered my heart and lifted me up. He has made a difference in the depths of my soul that I never thought was possible. I am not sure if I will be able to get back to blogging for my children, or what will become of this record of our lives, but I miss you and I wanted you to know I am doing well.

2 comments:

Tara Unger said...

Love you darlin <3 Keep strong and know we're here!

cosmicmomma said...

Good for you! Accepting that depression is a real illness with medication to help is a great step forward! I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety after a rough couple of years....death of my sister, post partum after 2nd baby, and a cross-country move from TX to NJ left me so unlike myself that I finally got help. You are fortunate to have family nearby to help you and to distract you. I love reading your blog and I am glad you are back. You are an amazing young woman from an amazing family! I pray for all of you every day.