Monday, July 23, 2012
I miss you
I miss you blog! I was reading back to when Lily had no hair and Johnny had tons and I was missing how well I kept up with my family here and leaving these memories for my children to see. I became bogged down and depressed last year, it is strange that now I know what "busy" and "stressed" really mean, and last year was like a vacation compared to it. However I feel much better now, so many things have chnaged and i thrive in the rush. I am here to admit that I suffer from clinical depression, and have for a long time. I accepted that I could not go through life hating myself, crying for no reason, and ignoring joy of any kind. I accepted that medication helps and that every single day is a struggle to push past the depression and find motivation and energy to even do the things I enjoy or take care of my children. God has entered my heart and lifted me up. He has made a difference in the depths of my soul that I never thought was possible. I am not sure if I will be able to get back to blogging for my children, or what will become of this record of our lives, but I miss you and I wanted you to know I am doing well.