Becoming a mother has changed me and my life and my out look on everything. I wanted something to show that, to have with me and to signify how much I love Johnny and how blessed I am be his mother. Such a significant life event deserves a significant tattoo (I guess stretch marks don't count) Four leaf clover for the luckiest day of my life...Saint Patrick's day 2008, the knot work inside the clover for the unending connection between us, the hearts inside the leafs of the clover for love of mother and son, and the blue flowers because well he is a boy and I thought they were pretty. I love my tattoo!!!! It took four hours and yes it hurt!!! Christian (our family tattoo artist, he has officially tattooed every member of my family) was very careful and took his time, I did not make it easy on him....sorry. When it hurt the most I found my self soothing Johnny..saying "it's okay it's okay" and "shhhhh shhhhh" which is what I do when he is mad or hurt. Then saying over and over "momma loves you" I looked at the tattoo for the first time and cried, I was so over whelmed.
Okay now that I am done over analysing I will move on....Johnny had another fun day in Ohio and has had a bout of teething with papa, who just holds him and sooths him, perfectly. He got to play with his second cousins Bennett and Asilinn, but wanted to follow Ella around where ever she went (who was following Asilinn, who is a couple years older then Ella) But Johnny has had no trouble going to all of his extended family and feeling comfortable to not be angry just because we are not there. I think it is wonderful that he is so secure with us that he knows and trusts that we will be back, and is comfortable enough with his Grams and Papa that they can sooth him and go day to day with them with no problem, even into a completely new environment. That being said I miss him so much!!!! I admire Shawn so much for letting me take him for weeks to visit home when we lived in Kansas, or even to have been in Iraq for those months. I don't know how much longer I can be away from Johnny. I honestly feel as if a piece of my heart is gone, I need him here. (which makes me take a step back to think how my parents felt when i left home for the army, or even Shawn's parents when he went to Iraq)
It was nice to reconnect to Shawn and not rush through our day to feed or nap, to get some solid work done in the house, I feel revitalised, but I need my monkey head baby boy. I am glad he got this special time, but I am ready for him to come home, we are waiting with a lot of new cloths, new bath toys, and and PERFECT room for him to play in!!!