Morning at the Beach

We recently discovered that not 30 minutes from our house is a sweet little beach! At Gunpowder Falls State Park is a small lake with a perfectly swimming area with nice cool water. So we pack the kids up and headed out for the morning, Johnny loves the beach!

Though Lily wasn't getting into the water she wanted to wear her swimming gear. Including her bathing suit and cover up. And she is relaxing on the beach in her self contained baby shade maker. This thing is wonderful!


When we got the water and wasted no time, barely took off his shoes!

This was his favorite game, sea monster. He would climb on your back and point to where he wanted to go, he wanted to explore the entire lake and watch all of the ships.

Lily got a little hot, so she took her cover up off and went right back to sleep. Relaxed and soaking up the baby shade.

Daddy and Johnny came back to the blanket to play in the sand.

Then back for more sea monster play.

And now back for some yet even more sand play. He and Daddy brought buckets of water from the lake to put in this little toy that spun when water went through it.

Johnny did not stop moving for well over two hours, and then fell down to soak up some sun.

And Lily still asleep! She slept better here then she does at home!!! However she tried to stick her leg out to get a tan and had to moved around to keep her white skin white!

This was a wonderful family outing, the FOUR of us playing together and enjoying each other.

Repercussions

I have been nursing Lily for 25 days and I consider myself successful! However the fever I had for four days has dried my milk up significantly, and now we are struggling again. She shakes her head away at each feeding and pushes back from me as I try to latch her back on, she knows there is nothing but a trickle for her anymore. It is very frustrating, since I continued to feed through being sick and feeling miserable to make sure my milk stayed in, and it is leaving anyways. I have avoided saying too much about breastfeeding here because I don't want to invited too much outside advice on the this subject that is sensitive for me. I have my sister-in-law Natalie who has been a ton of help and we are working of getting my milk back, but at this point I just want to say I made it to a month. Ever since I decided that Johnny would be formula feed I have felt horrible about the decision, and not because it wasn't best for us and didn't work out wonderfully in our favor, but because society tells me I am a bad mother if I don't sell my soul to breastfeed, and I must always defend my decision by prompting "my husband was in Iraq."

I understand the benefits to both of us, even if I haven't truly seen them in action yet, and I understand how convenient it can be, but I have tried harder this time because I have a romantic vision in my mind's eye of bonding between mother and baby. These sweet moments of connection where baby is nursing and looking into Mom's eyes and Mom plays with baby's little fingers and they both feel something that they carry into their future together. That moment is what I am still waiting for, that every mother I know who has done this long term has spoken of.

I greatly miss the schedule Johnny was on and how relaxed we both where knowing he was full and getting enough to eat, but why then do I still beat myself up about him not getting enough breast milk? He did get it for two full weeks! And I have put Shawn in a very tough position. He has listened to me beat myself up about not breastfeeding Johnny for 2 years and there fore is pushing me to fight and keep nursing Lily. However he also sees how frustrating this situation is and wants to make it all easier on us, but he is, as always, balancing the two well.

Thanks to Papa this sits in our cabinet for supplementing, because they know how important Organic for baby is to me, but how expensive it is! But there is nothing more free or Organic then breast milk, if you have it.

As my blog has become a journal and baby book system for my children I just wanted them to know how important every aspect of their lives are to me and how seriously I take every decision that involves them. Because nothing is more important to me then they are.

You Can't Recover in Only Three Weeks

I keep forgetting that it has only been three weeks since Lily joined our lives. Emotionally it feels as if she has been with us forever and I am constantly taken back by how small she is and I must remind myself that she isn't even a month old yet. On that same note I was feeling so good so soon after giving birth that I forgot I had just had a baby! These past three days I had a fever of 102, chills, hot flashes, night sweats, muscles cramps, and a headache that didn't stop. I was completely miserable! Late last night Shawn wanted to take me to Patient First to be checked out, but after a little internet searching we discovered that my only problem was that I had just had a baby, my hormones where readjusting and all we needed to do was waiting it out. Today I am feeling a little better and with some more rest and water, tomorrow will be even better, but I learned a lesson...no matter how long it feels since you gave birth, three weeks is not long enough to be fully recovered!

They say an alert baby is shows signs of future intelligence, if that is true then Lily is going to be a genius! She sleeps far less then I feel like she should.

Johnny was an alert baby too, and we know he is smart! and has become so much fun to play with. Here he is showing off yet another pillow fort Daddy helped him make by gathering all of our blankets and pillows from all over the house, and yet Daddy couldn't fit.

Since today Mommy was feeling better Johnny and I went to the resident picnic that the "landlords" where throwing for our entire community! Free food, games, bouncy houses and cotton candy.

The first cotton candy we got was small, but the guy running the machine when we went back thought it was very funny to give Johnny a new one the size of his head, Johnny thought it was very funny too!

But nothing beats bouncy houses. I loved taking Johnny out just me and him, I feel like it has been a very long time since we did anything like this. I had to stop myself from crying more then once, watching him run from game to game skipping, dancing and laughing.

While Mommy and Johnny went to the picnic Daddy and Lily stayed home and Lily refused to be put down, that is what happens when you are gassy.

Oh she loves her Daddy, isn't it sweet?

Ahhhhh joint belly time, as Lily works on holding her head up, Johnny works on being gentle with Lily...again my kids are just adorable!

Just a quick note that this little jumper is another item that was once Mommy's! The people who owned the farmhouse my family was living in in Germany when I was born gave it to me. I love it, so cute! Except that there are no snaps in the crotch...cloths just where as convenient in Germany in the 80s.

Here is a sign that alert babies really do make smart kids, I love the thought process he must have had here. He wanted to turn the light off, so he climbed up on his Elmo chair, but it wasn't tall enough. I took this first picture just because I thought it was cute that he wouldn't let go of the dinosaur.

Shortly after I took the first picture I heard "can't reach, can't reach, can't reach" and he ran straight to the bathroom and got his little hand washing stool. How smart! and how far his mind went to reason what to do and what to get to accomplish his goal. He was so proud when he was done that he laughed and smiled while flipping the light on and off...a lot. Oh and he held onto the dino through the entire process.

Lily's First Bath

Happy First Birthday Samantha Adair....we love you very much!!!

Wednesday was Sammi girl's first birthday...this is our gift to her, the tutu outfit and special hat. Grams plans on taking a picture of each of the three girls line up girls in it (Sam, Lily, Piper) Johnny also got his favorite play friend a large pink stuffed dinosaur!

Look at our three week old hold her head up and be super alert! I watched her do this and decided it was time for her first submersion bath.

Daddy checking the temperature of her bath with the dolphin thermometer that was in the labor tub when we had Lily. Daddy is very careful about his little girl, her bath was 85 degrees and Johnny's was 98 degrees, on the outside of the pink tub.

Johnny was super excited to have a bath with his little sister! And every day he gets more gentle with her and better with her being around.

Lily liked the bath, until Mommy started to wash her. Right now we are using lavender soap trying to get her to sleep as long as possible after her bath, also she is only getting a bath every other day, she seems to have sensitive skin, she gets diaper rashes quick!

Lily is a strange baby, after nursing she likes to stay awake for a little while and then must be held or rocked to sleep. So I nursed her before her bath and then rocked her asleep after and she slept from 8:30 till 1am! Poor Daddy was waiting up to give her her formula bottle, thinking it would be 10 or 11, Mommy was in bed at 8:35.

I seem to have forgotten everything about having a newborn and more often then not I am freaking out or calling my mom, for answers to questions I already know. We are still getting settled into each other, though it feels like she has always been here. Lily doesn't seem to want to be on a schedule or even stay constant on her wants from day to day. Some days a 15 min feeding will last her 3 hours, other day a 45 min feeding will last her 1 hour or I am feeding her all day long. Some days she wants to be held all day long and will wake up 10 mins after you set her anywhere, but other days she will sleep just set down on the couch for 5 hours! It is a tad frustrating, but we are figuring it out!

I have really loved having Shawn home with us. He has been doing housework and taking care of Johnny and helping me at night when I don't feel good. Not only has he been helpful but he is just fun to have around during the day and we have been reconnecting over our children...it is wonderful to have our full family, even if exhausting some times.

Father's Day, A Very Full Week End

Our week end was so full and fun that it went by faster then I could keep track!

Saturday we had a great surprise, Grandpa George! Shawn's family lives near Chicago IL and we don't get to see them very often, but Grandpa George is a cross country truck driver but it has been years since he had a route near us. He recently got a new job that will probably bring he round our way more often!

Grandpa George stopped by us for all of Saturday afternoon. He played with Johnny for a little while and really enjoyed listening to all of the things Johnny has to say. Then we went down to Havre De Grace, got some ice cream and took a walk to the water.

Johnny loved the water! He counted boats and talked to the ducks. It was so nice to get a little time with Grandpa George and for him to meet Lily and get some special time with Johnny.

On our way home we stopped to let Johnny see Grandpa George's "big truck." Johnny was so excited at first, until he got into the seat and thought that he was going away without Daddy or Mommy and he freaked out. He was pretty upset until he got back into the car with Mommy and then he kept saying "want big truck," as if he realized he wouldn't be taken away in the "big truck" and then wanted to see it more.

Father's day was another busy day, we wanted it to be a special day for Daddy and Papa. We started at Bob Even's for breakfast. I don't know why, but I was really taken back by Johnny coloring so sweetly while we waited for our food, he is such a big boy!

Another way Johnny was entertaining himself, removing all of the jelly packages and re stacking and organizing them.

Papa got Shawn an entire tool set so he can start fixing stuff around the house and Johnny got his own little box to keep his tools in too, so he can help Daddy.

Papa got his newest tattoo this week end, his Lily spider. We are so lucky to have our Papa!

Our special Father's Day included Johnny very first trip to see a movie in the theater, Toy Story 3. Johnny did so well for the entire movie! He sat and was quite and ate popcorn while watching the movie very carefully.

Papa loves going to movies! and he loves his grand kids! So this was a perfect trip and now we know Johnny enjoys movies too, and we knew he loves his Papa and doing anything with him.

Our week end just keeps going since Daddy is now on his extended paternity leave. Johnny hasn't been feeling very well lately, so during some running around this morning we let Johnny cash in his piggy banks, he got more then $60!!! We took half for his savings account and let him use the rest to pick out a toy himself. He choose this rock house full of stuffed dinosaurs, a very good choose and a very fun toy!

After a good nap and a little medicine Johnny was feeling a little better and it was really hot today, so Daddy filled his little pool and set his slide up with it. Johnny LOVED IT!

2 Weeks Old!

We survived! Our Lily Cupcake is 2 full weeks old!

Her jaundice is gone...isn't she beautiful? Lily had her two week Well Baby appointment today, of course she is doing wonderfully! Her weight is up to 8 pounds 9 ounces, which means she is 1 ounce above her birth weight, which means she is thriving and exactly where they want her to be, gaining weight back. Her weight is 56%. She is now 20 inches long and in the 36% and her head is 14.17 inches and 49%! Currently we have a perfectly normal sized baby. Everything about her is wonderful and perfect! Lily herself accidentally pulled off her cord stump while we where at the doctor's office, but not completly, and it didn't seem to hurt her. The pediatrician said there was a little left inside so she used a chemical to seal it up and said the rest would dry up in the next two weeks. And we are free to do belly time!

Sometimes I look at her little eyes and round face and wonder how we got so lucky to have such a beautiful little girl. I see no flaw in her and just feel unbound love in every inch of her tiny body.
She is a very alert baby, awake a few hours a day and always looking around searching for something to entertain her. So this morning we pulled out the gym and let her start to play a little.
Johnny loves his little sister and is always very interested in her. Wanting to hold her, give her her binkie or evening bottle and tuck her in. He wants to play with whatever she does, he wants held when she is and just wants to know he is loved too.

But she is his favorite toy! He calls her "My Wiwwe" and is always trying to take her from us. Also he says she "sleeps all day!"

Look at her holding up her head all by herself! She held up like his for a few minutes, this was not a quick thing, she is very strong.

When ever I take a picture of Lily Johnny says "me picture too?" and i just can't help myself, he is such a cutey! Lily looks so much like he did as a baby it takes me back and makes me a little sad, remembering. But I love this part too, he is so much fun to play with and watch and talk to. He is such a big boy!

In the past two weeks we haven't left the house much, a few trips to the clinic where the pediatrician is and Shawn works and a trip to see Grams and Pops, But we have gone to the commissary once as a family. Look at us....we have two kids!

Breastfeeding seems to be going more or less smoothly. The pain is minimal and her latch is constantly good, my milk is fully in and she is eating every two hours or less. Our issue now is getting into a routine, night is still a hit or miss, she either sleeps great or barely at all. I enjoy nursing her a lot, it is nice that she needs me so much, but at the same time she won't stop nursing when she is full I have to stop her at 30 minutes or she will use me as a binky. Daddy now calls nursing "getting a cheeseburger hug," because it is like she is getting a cheeseburger and a hug all at the same time. Making it to this two week mark breastfeeding is something I didn't think I would be able to to and I am really proud to have made it this far, but I am always nervous she isn't getting enough or I am doing something that would make my milk bad in some way. But everyone keeps telling me everything is going great so I try to stay calm and keep going, breastfeeding for as many months as possible, why not? We give her a formula bottle in the eveing, around 8 pm when she has her lavender bath and lotion, she will sleep solid for 4 hours with her bottle, giving Mommy a little time to herself and some solid sleep, this is also when Mommy pumps so we have a small store of milk as well. She doesn't like to be put down even when she is sleeping, as wonderful as it is to cuddle with her I am trying to be careful to not become the only person who can calm her down or comfort her.

Grams has helped Mommy to make this binky clip....isn't it cute, I have made a bunch of them. Lily's accessories have no bounds!

This week Shawn got called into work, so Mommy has been home with her babies. Johnny got to spend a little extra time with Grams and Pops on Monday going to see dinosaurs in DC and Wednesday going to the bouncy place, but the rest of the week it has been the three of us here at home waiting for Daddy to come home. Mommy has felt pretty good, but still trying to adjust to a much busier and more full life. I know now I can't do it by myself, I couldn't have done any of this myself! Without the support and aid of my parents, and family and Shawn I would be lost...but thankfully we are surrounded by people who care for us and what the best for us and our children, we are never alone....thank you Grams and Pops for more then I could ever write down, and runs deeper in my heart then you could imagine. Thank you Thomas and Natalie for your support and advice and being apart of our everyday lives. Thank you to all of our fmily who has sent cards, love and prayers, sometimes you must take a step back to realize how much you are truly loved.